To see how to contact me, please look at the "Occupation" box above. You can write me through there.
I can (and probably will) write quite a lot, but what's really left after all is said, and what has any real meaning, I feel, is the meeting. the meeting of the eyes, the meeting of the hearts. without concepts or ideas, without thinking that we already know, without the fears and all the junk that we've been fed since childhood. just the meeting of two naked souls, without their theories and images (of self and other), without trying to prove anything. having the courage to be completely open and honest, I feel that without this commitment to total honesty and openness it will be very hard to meet each other in a really intimate and meaningful way.
and one other request before you dive into the profile - slow down mama! I know it's a mayhem on this site with endless profiles clamoring for attention, but please do try to breath while going through this. I do admit that I feel a bit out of place in this somewhat superficial and face paced website. If you want a 'soundtrack' to move you into a more slow and open heart-space then listen to 'Elegy' by Lisa Gerrard and Patrick Cassidy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4PqWjug1Jg or to 'Devorzhum' by Dead Can Dance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBqhdMDe_ZA A couple of my most favorite tracks. Headphones highly recommended.
okay, so having said all that, here's my profile:
I FEEL THAT OUR DEEPEST 'MISSION' HERE IS TO FIND THE VOICE OF THE HEART, THE INNER MUSIC OF OUR HEART, THE VOICE OF OPENNESS, TENDERNESS, AND INCREDIBLE SENSITIVITY THAT LIVES IN US. THE VOICE THAT PERHAPS WE ARE NOT SURE THAT THE WORLD CAN TAKE BECAUSE IT IS SO INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL AND TENDER. AND LET THE WORLD HEAR THAT VOICE. EVEN IF IT'S THE ONE WORD WE EVER UTTER.
I want to bring forth this authenticity and sensitivity in myself and in others. To see people touch their deepest heart and live from that tenderness.
This is what brings me joy.
I believe the world will be profoundly different if we all lived from that place.
As Thomas Merton said (I have no idea who Thomas Merton is, but saw this quote somewhere): "Then it was as if I suddenly saw the secret beauty of their hearts, the depths of their hearts where neither sin nor desire can reach, the core of their reality, the person that each one is in God's eyes. If only they could see themselves as they really are. If only we could see each other that way all the time, there would be no more war, no more hatred, no more cruelty, no more greed... I suppose the only 'problem' would be that we would fall down and worship each other."
and to see what it is that is preventing this from happening, that is not allowing the heart to open.
the old programming of the brain and body that tries to protect us by keeping distance, by not allowing closeness, by keeping the guard up, by keeping us as separate individuals.
to say to this old programming/conditioning - thank you my dear for trying to protect me, but it is no longer needed
See the 'occupation' field to know how to contact me.
Please see this excellent video about what we do when looking for a relationship: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YolLejk_tVc
When I look at the structure and tendencies of this personality, it seem to be quite a deep and sensitive thinker. To the point where the mind touches the heart, or the heart enters the mind. I ask the big questions. I see beyond the facade. I notice and am fascinated by how reality constantly changes based on our current state of mind (state of being). You can see this playing out in me personally in this profile which I've updated a few times (and which I quite enjoyed writing) and which periodically expresses and looks at things from a different angle that make up my reality/personality.
If you know anything about the enneagram system of personality types then I am type 5, the perceptive observer. This seems to be a major aspect of this personality, along with the fact that in vedic astrology the moon of this person (moon equals manas or the mind in vedic astrology and is probably the most significant factor looked at in the chart from a vedic perspective) is in mula nakshatra which is ruled by ketu. whooa, that's a lot of exotic sounding words, isn't it? but I am simply trying to emphasize the fact of this mind being ruled by ketu (also known as the south node of the moon in western astrology) which gives it a sort of a perceptive and detached quality, a quality of seeing through the veil, seeing through the masks and games that we humans play (mostly unconsciously). There is a unique quality in ketu (which I find quite endearing) of dissatisfaction. not mundane dissatisfaction with some petty little thing (I usually don't sweat the small stuff) but dissatisfaction in the deepest sense, dissatisfaction with any answer and any experience that this world offers (the kind of dissatisfaction that buddha referred to when talking about dukkha/unsatisfactoryness as being the most fundamental aspect of human life). There is an awareness here that any experience - even the most wonderful and blissful experience, the greatest orgasm and the loveliest honeymoon, for example - comes and goes (either quickly or gradually), and one is left with a funny taste in the mouth that this is not quite it. As lovely and amazing as this experience is, this is not quite what the heart longs for at the deepest sense. It cannot satisfy this longing for a true and abiding peace, a peace that is not dependent on a thing (an experience, a person, a substance, an object etc.), a peace that is not dependent on a thing that will eventually not be there anymore, sooner or later, as all things do, simply by their nature and the nature of the reality we live in (birth and death, appearance and disappearance). Yes, Ketu has this quality of digging very deeply to uncover the roots of any matter (mula nakshatra literally means 'root' in sanskrit) and so is not satisfied by anything other than the deepest in-sight which is realized in a visceral intimate and un-doubtful way.
You can see how all this coincides perfectly with the 5/observer personality type of the enneagram, and it also seems to coincide with how numerology describes the life path of this person - as a number 7. Here are a couple of quick links to help you gain insight into what a lifepath number 7 is (you can also look up your lifepath number in those links) . I think that being a 7 lifepath is a very major part of who I am, as the description in those links is quite accurate for me: http://astrology-numerology.com/num-lifepath.html#lp7
and the second excellent description for 7 is: http://numerology-thenumbersandtheirmeanings.blogspot.com/2011/05/number-7.html
And by the way, guess which planet rules the number 7? Ketu! it all comes together pretty amazingly.
And in the meyrs-briggs personality types, I am best described by the INFJ and INTJ types.
(After studying many of the insightful personality sciences - such as vedic astrology, ennneagram, numerology, human design, mayan astrology and chinese astrology - it is clear that they all point to the same quality in different ways. I haven't really intended consciously to study these sciences but have been magnetically drwan to them again and again as a means of learning about this unique personality, just as I am learning about it now as I am writing this profile).
An observer, a scholar, a writer, a lover, an eternal learner, a dancer, a nemophilist, a poet, a counselor, a connector of heaven and earth, a lover of the earth and of anything innocent and natural, an appreciator of this indescribable endless mystery (that was given the name "life").